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My wife and I separated and will be filing for divorce. In hindsight we were both unhappy and did not care enough about each other to communicate our feelings.
At the end of our relationship we barely spoke to each other let alone had sex. We were like roommates.
Euftis, you have offered me advice before and once again I am in need of some strong words of wisdom.
relationship we barely spoke to each other let alone had sex. We were like roommates.
She recognized the end but I being competitive by nature wanted to fix this dysfunctional relationship because I didn’t want to be 0 for 2 ( 2 marriages,2 divorces ). During this period of possible restoration I feel like I came off as a SIMP.
In reviewing text messages she one worded all my paragraph long statements.
I also tried to be the good guy and tried to convince her to go to counseling. I was getting advice from a counselor at my church but much of the advice had me coming off as soft. I need to know how to navigate myself during this time of transition.
Wanna be a Daddy
I'm sorry that you're going through the pain of a second divorce. Being a member of the divorce club, I'm well aware that the process and transition back to single life is not pleasant.
I have a problem with you saying that you tried to fix the marriage due to you being '...competitive by nature', If you really sought to save your marriage you should have done so for love.
If you did it for love there wouldn't have been an issue if you did come across as a SIMP.
You appear to be beating yourself up for trying to make things work which lets me know that you did love your wife. The first thing that you need to do is stop worrying about what was because it's over.
Your time should be spent in contemplation. Contemplation on two things:
1. What are the things that...you...did that caused the marriage to fail.
2. What are the things that you...need...in a woman.
The first bullet item should be obvious. You need to be aware the things that you did that ruined your marriage so that you don't do those things again.
The second item is not that obvious and is very difficult to figure out if your are not totally honest with yourself.
When I got married I got what I...wanted. I...wanted...a woman with a coke bottle shape and ass would I could pump up with with five kids and not get fat who would let me hit every hole. Period.
That's what I wanted and quickly found out was not what I...needed.
Upon reflection after my divorce I realized what I...needed...was mind blowing sex, devotion, loyalty, respect, co-parent, good communicator and most important a woman who was strong in the areas where I was weak.
With that enlightenment I will make a much better decision the next time around.
So seek that understanding in yourself and until you find it remember the old saying... "There ain't nothin' like...new...pussy to get over...old...pussy."
Who’s your Daddy?