I'm a 22 year old virgin living in Los Angeles. I've always wanted to wait until I fall in love to have sex with someone. I've been very close two separate times but both times I found out that they were already in a relationship with children.
To say that I'm just horny is an understatement. I don't want to compromise what I have been looking for, which is truly being in love and having someone love me back. On the other hand what I need I can't begin to put in words. I'm way past being sexually frustrated.
I need to figure out if these feelings are normal. The longer I wait the more I feel pressured to find that person to love, but the deeper my sexual feelings become as well.
Torn and confused
Torn and Confused,
Life is very simple. It’s about making choices and accepting the impact of those choices without regret. When people experience, doubt, confusion or fear from a choice that they have made with their lives it’s because they have not fully accepted the ramifications of their decision.
People straddle the fence with life decisions for various reasons (religion, job, parents, friends). In other words, they alter their behavior because they are concerned about what someone else thinks. When this occurs they become conflicted toggling from what they really want to conforming to society’s viewpoint.
You are at war with yourself right now because you cannot make some simple decisions. You crave sex but you don’t want it until you find love. Personally I feel that both are mutually exclusive but if you have made the choice for the two to go together for whatever reason then you need to fully embrace your decision.
You need to distance yourself from all things that tempt you to have sex without love. You need to focus on making yourself the type of woman for the type of man that you want to love. Do so, without...one...second of regret.
Now if you can’t do the above devoid of regret and confusion then you need to be honest with yourself and determine if that is what you really want. Because if it isn’t, then you need to decouple your need for sex…with…love and find enjoyment in occasional sex…while…you look for love.
Do so…without guilt.
Whose your Daddy?
Following is Torn & Confused's reply back to me after I replied to her question. If you have a question for me email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with "Daddy" or some derivation in the subject line.