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Daddy, I am 22 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Our sex life has went from 4 times a week to maybe once a month. We do not live together, but we try to see each other every weekend. He is always tired from work and never really has the energy to give me what I want. Lately my hormones have been raging! My question to you is what do I need to do to make my man become the jack rabbit he once was????

Signed, Young & Horny

Young & Horny,

Your sexin’ has gone from four times a week to…maybe…once a month. Say what? Once a month! Are you serious? Been there… Done that… Never… Ever… Again!

My dear you have a major problem and having been in a situation where my spouse withheld sex from me to at best twice a month I totally understand what you are going through. So your dude has gone from hittin’ it four times a week to…maybe…once a month.

The reasons that a man would change his ‘bonin’ frequency so drastically are as follows:

1. Onset of a medical issue (i.e., diabetes).

2. He no longer finds you sexually attractive (i.e., you’ve gained weight).

3. He’s bored with you sexually.

4. You’re a verbally abusive harpy and he is keeping you around because he is using your for financial or other reasons.

5. He’s got a freak or two on the side who is draining him of his precious bodily fluids on a daily basis.

I’m sorry my dear no man who likes to get his fuck on at least four times a week will go to a frequency of…maybe…once a month when he’s got willing pussy because he’s…tired…from work. I don’t care how many hours a man works in a day, he is going to schedule some “pussy breaks” into his day/week somewhere.

So you’re task is to by process of elimination figure out which item(s) on my list are the cause for your problems. The first thing that you should do is find out when was the last time that your man had a major physical. If it’s been longer than a year, schedule one for him and be sure that he gets a full panel of blood work done including a testerone test. If his physical comes back with flying colors then you need to be honest with yourself and determine if you are a verbally abusive harpy.

When your dude can’t get it up do you attempt to entice/seduce him? Or do you verbally chastise him when his Jimmy doesn’t want to play with you? Do you tell him that he is your King? Your Daddy? Or do you wear the pants in the house and you’re constantly on your dude telling him to man-up, stop being a panty-waste, or worse stop acting like a bitch?

If you’re a verbally abusive harpy (and you know if you are) then my advice to you is to leave dude alone and move on to the next one. Because believe me you’re sleeping with the enemy and whatever reason that dude is keeping you around is definitely not in your best interest. But if your problem is not medical and you’re not a mouthy harpy then here is a test that you can use on your man to eliminate the rest of the items on my list.

First, talk to your man and find out what slinky outfits that…he…would like to see you in. I emphasized “he” because normally a woman will buy lingerie that she likes and typically what…you…like is…not…what your man wants to see you in. So find out what…he…likes and even if you feel his choices are slutty or stank…wear…it!

Next before buying your play outfits, take stock on your body and be sure that whatever you purchase that it covers your flaws while emphasizing your assets. Adequately armed for seduction, then tell your man that on a night that he has off that you want to cater to him. Go over to his place, put on your lil outfit and prance around cleaning his house, cooking him a nice hot meal, run him a hot bath, clean his kitchen, dry him off, lotion him up, feed him, then put him to bed. Don’t…mention…sex.

Just tell him that you want to cater to him and be his eye candy. At some point, during your prancing around he should take it. However, if he is so tired that he doesn’t, then ask him if you can set the alarm to go off after he has gotten a few hours of sleep so that you can suck his dick. Don’t mention fuckin’. Just ask him if you can…suck…his…dick.

And when that alarm goes off… Slide down there and get to work. He should be rested, relaxed and ready for you.

Now after 15-20 minutes of head he doesn’t wax that ass or worse can’t get hard… He’s got another bitch. And that bitch… Is fucking the…shit…out of your man. Move on.

But if he does wax that ass… Then you have been boring him sexually and you need to step up your game and learn some new tricks to keep your man hard and ready for you. Because keeping his dick hard is…your…job. Not his.

Whose your Daddy?

Summer 2012 Collection Travel Diaries

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